Am I Bisexual?

Mar 27

Am I bisexual? A question I once sat with and ruminated over for months. Claiming a label, for some is easier, because they just know. For others—myself included—it can take time, because they don’t know.

All I knew was that I was attracted to more than just cis-men, but I didn’t know how far that attraction went. I kissed women in the past, but kissing a woman is one thing, exploring more is a whole other thing.

In October of 2017 I had my first experience with a woman. Instantly, it became clear to me that it wasn’t just admiration, it was more.

But here’s the catch...

Three months passed, I was in polyamorous relationship with a woman, and I was still uncertain about what that meant for a label.

Does this mean I’m bi? Could I be something other than bi? Would I be with a woman romantically, if a man wasn’t involved? WHAT-THE-FUCK-DO-I-IDENTIFY-AS?

I felt overwhelmingly befuddled which equated to hiding it. I didn’t talk about my experiences...or my girlfriend.

I didn’t feel comfortable claiming a label yet. And I knew if I did talk about it, people would ask, “So are you bi?!?!” “Are you gay?!?” “WHAT ARE YOU?!?!”

I didn’t want to be pried with questions I didn’t have the answers too. So, I avoided it all together.

Eventually I realized you don’t need a label in order to come out or to talk about the things that make you happy. People want black and white answers, and it isn’t your job to provide it.

So, for awhile, it was just, “I’m Devon and I like people.” If they asked for more, I just said, “I don’t know.” And there’s nothing wrong with that answer.⠀

If you don’t know what you identify as, cool—that’s perfectly okay. If you’re confused, cool—that’s more than okay. If you don’t ever want to identify with a label, cool—that’s also okay, you’re not obligated to label yourself.

You are YOU—and whatever you do or feel or explore doesn’t have to mean anything, doesn’t need a pretty little label attached to it, nor does it need to fit into a box to be palatable for others.

Label or not, closeted or out, I’m celebrating you.

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