Toxic Positivity

You’re not a negative person for feeling and voicing what isn’t warm, fuzzy, and full of love and light 👏
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It’s unhelpful and insidious to subscribe to the idea that being positive means being this pollyanna person; someone who views the world in rose-colored glasses, is just barfing up rainbows, never complains or spews negativity and is overly optimistic no matter what.
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This notion can be harmful for those who struggle with their mental health. And, it’s ignorant and invalidating to what’s real—to what’s actually going on in your inner world and in the world.
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We can call it toxic positivity.
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You’re not here to invalidate yourself—to bypass and deflect how you truly feel. Giving space to express and fully process whatever it is, is HEALTHY.
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You can say, “This is awful and I feel awful.”
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You are a human being with this beautiful capacity to experience a full spectrum of emotions—and some of that shit hurts, some of it’s dark and negative and everything but positive. Don’t deny yourself from being human.
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Being a positive person is having a positive relationship with the negative. It’s processing the emotions without judgment, criticism, or creating this entire story line on why it’s problematic and why you shouldn’t feel the way you’re feeling.
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It’s saying this is how I feel and it’s okay and it’s valid.
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It’s also being able to recognize emotional reactions are reasonable. Take 2020 for example. When Black lives are being murdered, when the world is in a global pandemic, when life morphs unexpectedly before your eyes—are we supposed to be happy and positive? Fuck. No.
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It makes sense to feel deep sadness, indignation, anxiety, depression, anger—to be fuming with rage.
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Emotions deliver important messages. They show us what’s unjust, what matters to us, what we need, what we won’t stand for. They help us create change. Keep feeling. Keep fighting. This is how we heal.