Overcoming Jealousy

“But don’t you get jealous?” A query I perpetually get asked anytime I disclose that I explore open relationships.

Ironically enough, I inquired about that very question too when I was first introduced to the idea of unconventional relationships.

A part of me wanted to explore beyond what I’ve been taught a relationship should look like. Another part of me didn’t want to feel jealous.

Isn’t it funny how afraid we are of feeling?

Eventually, curiosity won me over and I courageously decided to give it a shot.

Through that exploration, my entire perspective on not only relationships shifted, but jealousy as well.

So, to answer the question: sometimes, yes—I do in fact get jealous. It’s more rare for me now than it was in my first open relationship, but the feeling certainly comes to visit.

The problem isn’t experiencing jealousy, the problem is being afraid to feel it. We’ll escape it, avoid it, suppress it, blame the person who brought it out in us and try to control the circumstance to shut the feeling down.

Jealousy is inevitable. I’ve learned to love when it arises because emotions deliver vital information, and jealousy is no exception.

Jealousy highlights fears, shows unmet needs, and invites you to take a close look at what needs attention, and healing. I’ve decided to work with it, instead of dismiss it—and through that, I realized jealousy has my best interest.

Jealousy turned out to be a friend of mine, who really wants nothing more but security and love for me.

This post isn’t at all about me convincing you to explore open relationships (they certainly aren’t for everyone). Rather an invitation to imagine…

What you would do in your life if you weren’t afraid of feeling uncomfortable emotions and instead, leaned into them?