Moving Forward Without Closure

In my therapy session last week, I expressed to my therapist, “it’s so much easier to suffer when you understand why, and that’s why this is so difficult for me right now. I just don’t get it, I don’t understand why it all happened the way it did.”

“You’re absolutely right. It is easier. And it’s like you’re taking on this uncertain responsibility,” she lovingly replied.

It was then when I had the ah-ha, I-see-what’s-going-on-here moment.

The story I was telling myself about needing answers and needing understanding is very unhelpful for two big reasons:

> It gives my power away

> It’s a resistance to accept what is (and what we resist, persists)

“What is” is that I don’t have the reasoning behind my current situation. And as much as an understanding would make things a tiny bit easier, it’s not necessary to heal.

The hard truth is sometimes we don’t get the answers, the knowing, the understanding, the closure we want. And if we tell ourselves we neeeeeed the understanding or the closure we feel we’re sooooo deserving of in order to heal, we completely give our power away and it keeps us from healing.

The hard but most liberating thing to do is take radical responsibility for yourself and your healing—instead of placing the responsibility else where.

We don’t need someone else or something else to make it better and to make it right. We can do that on our own—and when we do, we step into our sovereignty.

So I want to invite you to reflect:

Where might you be giving your power away? Where are you needing to take responsibility for your own healing?