Hating Yourself is Learned and You Can Unlearn it

You didn’t enter the world feeling crummy about yourself. There was a time, when you’d freely roam around, tummy out, fascinated by your own belly button, completely unabashed.
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Suddenly, you’re told no. Don’t do that. Do this. That’s wrong. You’re wrong. Change. No, that’s wrong too. Change again. You’re not good enough, yet. Try harder. Do more. Be more. Wait! Not that much more. Be smaller. Be different. Not that different. Omg you’re different! Stop.
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You’ve been beaten down, torn up, repeatedly. Fed an idea that you’re broken. You can’t love yourself as you are, you need to fix yourself, FIRST.
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You LEARNED to be hard and harsh, to speak about yourself disparagingly, to nitpick every little detail. Let’s not forget, this has become a practice that by now it’s an unconscious behavior; most of the time, you don’t even realize you’re doing it.
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It’s deeply engrained.
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Yet, you’re then given this outlandish idea that breaking it should be easy. Just fucking love yourself, right? Just do it. Just turn on the light switch.
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The process of rediscovering the carefree version you once were takes time. You have to unlearn and then relearn again. You’re not broken because it’s taking time, it’s taking time because there are layers to peel back and each layer requires introspection.
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Be patient with yourself, darling. And as you dismantle each piece, stumble upon each realization, break through each barrier—applaud every damn moment of labor. Celebrate how far you’ve come even if it’s a one step.
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After all, that is what self-love is all about 😉.