Depression is Convincing

It was one of those mornings, pulling my body from the bed to plant my feet on the floor felt impossible.
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𝐃𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧. It has its way of convincing you that the only thing you’re capable of is laying there.
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And for a while it did. For the first two hours of my morning, depression persuaded me and I just laid there, staring at the ceiling.
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Until. I took control.
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Control didn’t feel like an option, very rarely does it with depression. Yesterday, however, the roles would be reversed, I decided. Depression wouldn’t dominate me, I’d dominate depression.
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Far too often, I listen to depressions needs, and fail to check-in and listen to my own needs. I know what depression wants. But the question needs to be, what do I want? ⠀
“𝖫𝖾𝗍’𝗌 𝖽𝗈 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖾𝗅𝗌𝖾, 𝖣𝖾𝗏. 𝖲𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖸𝖮𝖴 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾. 𝖭𝗈𝗍 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖽𝖾𝗉𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗌,” I encouraged.
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From that point on, I did the very things I knew would elevate my mood. Even if that elevation was only by 1% because sometimes that’s all we ever need.
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I removed myself from the bed and put on an outfit I felt fabulous in.
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I went outside for a walk to grab my favorite cup of coffee—an oat milk latte with added CBD.
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I flirted with the barista, complimented his work ethic, to which he responded, “you’re making me blush,” and that made me blush. Making people feel good, makes me feel good.
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I walked to the bookstore, because ya girl loves a good book.
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I came back home, wrote this caption, as writing can sometimes be therapeutic and in that moment it was.
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And here we are.
Better.
Depression still present, but not in control.
Not this time.
This time I am.
This time I’m stronger than depression.
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A win. A celebration. A reminder that while sometimes laying there seems like the only option—and it’s totally okay if that’s the option I choose—I can also choose to take my power back. That even with those low moods, I can still show up, because 𝐈’𝐦 𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐈 𝐚𝐦.
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xx

Devi